Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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hiirah-Mahiirraahh, 05/08/1991Loves Sushi&Chocolate. I'm a fan of Purple/Red/Yellow. I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Talk it Loud
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Sunday, January 31, 2010
From BUSY to CRAZY HoHo!!! it's been long i think? blogging sometimes you can get bored but i'm totally busy which i'm not busy. just lazy around in the house... even tho i'm BUSY but i'm going CRAZY... haha... doesn't the words rhymes with each other? Number 1. i wanted my NETS card change into Debit card which i planning to that tml... hope i can get the card and excuse myself. No.2. Complete my fanfic... this time a guy i'm changing it as a girl... even though i didn;t own them, but i wanted to let my imaginary out... No.3. Time i guess. No.4. Draw Akanishi Jin as an angel. if that possible. to me i think it's impossible... haha... just hard to draw their facial. want to know why angels? Ytd nite before going to sleep.. reading a fic abt angels make me wanted to draw one... can i squeal now? Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~~ haha... can say too innocent and beautiful. No.5. Graduation. *sigh* i think thats all. i'll try to update if i have interesting story but now just rubbish story.. haha... I' going crazy... such a hectic day, i guess. see you soon.. Sunday, January 24, 2010
I feel kinda like itouch. Lol. I'm sorry to show off nut it's to umbelieveable. Haha. Today I'm so random. Hahaha Friday, January 22, 2010
Title: Loving for miles Rating: Safe Genre: angst, fluff (idk) Pairing AKAME Summary: I don’t like to do summary. It’s just to stressing. Just read the story. The day felt over, whenever I felt it’s gone. You were always there for me whenever I needed you or you would just come by. Your smile, your face, your features are too perfect for word which god made you into a handsome goddess. But you left without a word, leaving for your own will. I was disappointed, sad and mad, when you left me abandoned here. What was this feeling after you left? Even though we were friends as we grew up together. God, why my hearts started to ache every time, I see him. My body were trembling from this feeling which I wanted to stop. Am I in love with him? That was the entire question I tried to figure out after you left. But it’s impossible, our genders are totally not meant to be together other than siblings. The questions kept echoes in my mind, day and night, ringing from distance. I’ve finally realize, I was totally fallen for you. Your charms are just like a spider trap, waiting to be seduced and eaten. I may not know how I felt to you in the past where we were together. But yours! Only yours are too obvious for me to be able to see. Your care, gentleness, your klutz, and lastly love, your love towards me. Even though we fight and quarrel, I knew that was a sign of care. Your love felt with warmth for me to able to feel it even miles from here. You were the annoying busted that I’ve fallen, and I’m the masochist person to fall in love with. It’s felt different. This ten month without you, it felt like a decade for me. To, wake up without seeing your lazy ass around me. It was lonely. Without you, I couldn’t possible survived this hell. The tantrum I’ve kept is just for you. I just wanting to escape this misery, and wanting to move on. But I can’t stop it, my heart denies it. It hurts! I’ve realize without you I’m nothing. Just a piece of an old toy that didn’t even want to be cherish. Months past as you came back, knocking on my front door. I wasn’t ready to face you. By just saying Hi wasn’t good enough to cure my heart. I hated you. Hatred was all in my mind when I saw your face after all the months. Intruding my house just to apologise what you did. I wasn’t ready to forgive you yet. Yet! Hugging me all of the sudden, your hug suffocated me but I felt you misery. The loneliness you’ve gotten. “I missed you! Miss you so badly!” you whispered through my ears as it send the message through my body cells. The warmth hug you gave, tighten hug closer, was blowing my mind. I knew being under your arm was the moment that made me tugging your hug as my return. “I love you. I’ve always do.” That word melts in my heart. Smelling your scent on your neck just how it felt to be bitten. “I don’t know what I’m thinking.” I mutter under his shoulder. I can’t confess my feelings to him yet. He pulled me as I gaze his beautiful face and those brown orbs, making my heart beat fast as it can’t stop. He cupped both of his hand onto my cheeks as he leaned towards me, closer and closer. Our lips touched. Firstly, I was cold to felt but it became hot as we heat u the kiss. It was so tempting as I wanted more, more than what I’m received now. I sleek in my tongue in you, as I wanted to taste you. I was breathless as I needed air, but I kept continue not wanting to stop. But you broke the kiss. “It seems you do have feelings for me!” he gave me a smirk; I felt my cheeks were burning. The beat of my heart started to rise again. “You were gone! You should know how I felt!” my heart was about to torn apart after saying those words to him. I felt a single tear drop, slowly dripping to my cheeks. A sudden whimper came. You were looking in my eyes as you understand straight away with the reason. Your lips pressed hard on mine. I was hungry. Hungry for you. I open up my mouth for you to put in your tongue. Bringing my hand entwined to your brown long locks and the other clutching your neck. The kiss was hot. Moaning, sighing, grunting under those kiss were fill with lust. Drunk from our kisses, I knew that this kiss wasn’t a lie of our feeling. It was the truth just wanted to be tested. He broke the kiss press his forehead to mine as he mutter those words. “I will never leave you again. From that kiss, I felt you needed me more.” He smiled gazing my eyes. I smile with him as I gave a peck on his lips. Giving the peck on his lips was the answer that doesn’t need to elaborate wit words. Loving you is the thing that all I wanted. P.S. Too bad if it was really me in this plot. Sorry for the bad English that, I’m suffering (self confessed). But I write this for my favourite pairing, which recently I’ve been crazy for. I’m not use to write this type. I think I should stick on my own POVs. This was just burst out from my brain. Comments are meant to be adore. Candid and something else... It's a flower i took it. I was mesmerized with it, the color and the flower. Lotte CRUNKY AND GHANA. I bought this without thinking just because of the promoter, Kamenashi Kazuya.. haha... Joeii and I went to eat Sushi *she requested*. Because we got our pay. hehe... Even though i'm full eating rice at home. But i dunno how i can still swallowed it. this sushi was mistaken. i was pointed at tamago but they gave us this. we both have no choice but to eat it. So we DARE! Joeii it first, to her it's spicy. but to me it's not spicy but yucky! first we didn't know what this food really is until i finish swallowing my piece, she told me it jellyfish. OMG! we were eating JELLYFISH! Candid shot! was complain the Moshi it to soft. Wrong shot! *>.<* but it funny and cute. 'OMG! I saw a guy dump his girlfriend!' Joking!!!!! it's just candid... she didn't really see a guy dump his girlfriend. So that's all i got... Monday, January 18, 2010
My Point of Views Brokenhearted pieces "Heart breaks or less does people want to get out? Feeling all emotions it doesn't work at all. Getting into a fight and misunderstand it doesn't get enough of understandings. Getting all wrong but never work out. Loving or Hating what's that supposed to do or work? Getting over it, is just palling up the hurting. Forget the past memories, it will just came back for you. Getting lose it wasn't a thing. Getting all mess up was just stupid. Seeing you was a big mess. Always ended up broken. Thinking the ways not to met the eyes. Giving the feelings of trying again. Just skip the step don't lt it ruin you. Don't be a stupid jerk. Be a smart ass, if you're really know what it's be on track of you. Fall, fall if you want! But there will be someone you trust to help you out. Someone you really cared, then your past person." Just writing my POVs.... I like to write this stuff. Even though i'm bad at my English, Grammer and more... Friday, January 15, 2010
Quit so easily. HAHAHA.... I think i'm totally free this whole summer (spring). Totally free but can't go out... LOL!!! *sigh* i've still have 3 months to go until i continue my education. Education!!!!!! HUrry time!!!!!! Hurry and let the time jump as i can continue schooling... Hope there's a friend that i have would be in the same course as i pick... anyway, I picked Civil & Structure Engineering Design, some how is has the relation of Architecture. It's been my dream or not a dream to able be designing home, interior designer. Just need to learn.. Wednesday, i did some stupid mistake. i got the job, but i ended up quit on the same day...haha... I'm such a useless person... i dunno if i felt regret about resigning the factory job... there's the no feeling in it, but i'm not to sure to it. Now i' sitting at home shaking my leg and hear the elders nagging and scolding... sometimes it annoys me a lot, sometimes it doesn't.. haha... i'm such a weirdo!!! Tuesday, the delivery man took my desktop away. poor desktop, always kena bully by us and it always be a weakling.. haha... Once my desktop returns home, i will crash it day to night... hahaha *evil laugh*.... since mum and grandma wouldn't let us use laptop often... or they hid it somewhere. where we can't took it. sorry not we.... IT IS ME!!!! hahaha.... i like to militate it... My brain will be gone without internet in a day... i think i will go insane and ended up in the mental home... I hope DREAMS will come true. some don't believe in dreams and reality... but everyone must face reality... even stars have to face their life in front of ON camera and OFF camera. I composed some POVs... which i like it... it will think back what our lives are. "Under this sky, we are living. Even we have a different life and world, but we sleep in the same ground. Don't judge by the status, the face. We are just human that GOD created. Accepting what he made, is just the best present we got when we're born. Being scolded, Nagged, that the sign of love. Thanks to our parents that we are born in this world. Reality is just a game. God try to give us some Challenged to try to face this some test that he made. We may not see angels in their wings and the Romans Clothing. We may not know if they shape shift into our own being a Human, disguised as they show our way of living. Angels are our Guardians, when we are sad they do something to cheer us up. Mother's love are the precious thing we have in our hearts. They gave birth to us, we were in their womb for 9 month as they are very cautions. Standing in this curious world, we are the same but different skin and language. This world are full of curiosity, we just need to know what will it be when the day that God will send us back to our real home. Heaven or Hell, that is his decision for us, to be with him or to be with the devil. He has the power to make and control." I'm not sure of why i'm writing this. i think my brain went to other world... haha... that's what i think... two weeks ago i make a POV book. It make me release of what i think... Previously, i wrote about BLOOD. haha... nothing to do.... good bye. don't waste my time in this blog or i don't have the time what i wanted to do... signing off... Ja na... mata nee~~~~ Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Yesterday was Mum's birthday. just an ordinary day always... At night when bro got home, the little surprised is i can't believe he bought a cake for mum... we enjoy eat the cake... there's waffle biscuit inside and the chocolate taste like alcohol... but its ok... I quit my recent job and guess what i found new straight away haha.... i think it was my luck... Some candid shots of her doing her job... Saturday, January 9, 2010
I've been longing to post something in blog... too bad i'm too busy with work... oh, well when it ends well, it really ends well. And when its starts bad, it sure starts bad... i'm keeping a secret that i'm quitting my job soon... vry soon... too soon to even count... Mum always knows me well. Cause i'm such a complainer... Which mum doesn't know her own daughter which she gave birth too? Mums always know their children vry well than ourselves... now busy chatting people... i'll post a pic i draw.. Isn't it nice... to me la... i try my best to draw him haha... my second drawing of human portrait. Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Busy for this week I think most students are already started schooling... whereas, I and Joeii started working... The job is OK standard... But there's a catch to it... It needed to stand the whole day for 8hrs... if OT 12hrs. OT is worth by money but not by our physical. to me crazy to stand for 12hrs... but the pay is good... (a) $9x12hrs=?, (b) $6x8hrs=?. (a) $108, (b) $42 i dunno if i should quit... but i think i can't hold it any longer... just see how the condition will be for today... sorry for no time blogging... been totally busy with work... By The Way, yesterday when i and Joeii and some boys we walking and passed by some company... We've been bark and chased by a DOG! Which it is scary!!!! And it's a big DOG!!! Friday, January 1, 2010
Emotions 'This emotions which I can't help it. This emotions which I can't resolve. What emotions I'm having. Feeling the anxiety of everything. In issue of arguments and commotions. What am I afraid of exactly! What am I suffering from? Why can't I realize it? Tell me, Why am i suffering from this?' Sorry for the randomness. I have nothing to write... But this is what i'm thinking right now... feeling so remorseful and confused. Nearly crack from her shell... tears falling apart. Can't breathe so easily. I can simply feel from breaking down. Why am i thinking negative things? I'm not emo or anything, is just that i can't get my emotions right. Sorry, i need to get my emotions back to one... |
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |